Father's Day

I’m going to be honest, father’s day has become one of the most difficult days for me. It’s the day I wish I could not emerge into the land of the living and just pull the covers over my head and sleep right through it. Unfortunately, Father’s day falls on a Sunday, so unless I’m ill…that’s not an option. I get out of bed and go to church anyways…still hoping I can avoid the Father’s day spirit in the building.

I then head home and try to forget that it’s the special day most of the country is giving attention to their father’s. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I try to scold myself and say: “You can remember daddy. And if that’s too hard you have a heavenly father who will never leave you and focus on that!”

But saying that and feeling it is very difficult. But this year, I’ve decided that even if I spend the next 20 years not looking forward to father’s day I will face my fear and follow the advice I try to give myself every year.

Since my dad has died, it seems like each passing year becomes more and more difficult. As life sends its many challenges I miss having him be there for me and my siblings. I often feel that if he was alive I may not have had to face some of the challenges that have entered my life. But one day, a few years ago, I came across one of his famous 3x5 cards. On it was a verse he had written: 2 Timothy 3: 14-15- “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; and that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”

When I read the words, tears came into my eyes. It was as if my dad was speaking to me, telling me that he had taught me everything he could have and from that foundation I could continue my life for Christ. I still wish he was here, but I must comfort myself, sometimes on a daily basis, that God knows best even my heart cries out in agony.

It seems like each year I call to remembrance more and more memories and things my dad taught his family. Here are a few I was thinking of the other day:

Prayer is important: 

He was a serious, ultra, hardcore prayer warrior- and I’m not over exaggerating  when I say that. He had a family prayer list that took us almost an hour on some days to get through, generally it was at least a minimum of 30-45 minutes. I only knew that because our family prayer and bible reading took at least an hour to an hour and a half.

Besides family prayers, I know he prayed personally. He was also at every prayer meeting he could be at- even the special ones, he made sure he was there-oh, and he took the whole family with him, unless it was a men’s only event!

At one church, on Sunday morning while the pastor preached, he would go into the little room just off the sanctuary and pray during the service. The pastor asked him why he was doing it. My dad replied, “I know that during the service is the time God speaks to people. There are spiritual battles going on and I want you lift up in prayer while you’re up there preaching God’s word.” Slowly but surely more men joined in and at the request of the pastor, my dad created a schedule so he could still attend the morning service himself….otherwise he would have been in that little room tearing the paint off with his prayers every week. The pastor convinced him by telling him he should at least sit with his family every now and then!

Prayer was the one thing I knew was so important to him that no matter how sick we were, no matter how busy or even if we were out of town on a family vacation or a mission trip- we prayed. Sometimes because we were so busy we brought the list along and prayed in the car! I hated that because after we prayed we’d read the bible and since we took turns reading out loud I had to keep track of where we were and then take me turn. What made me hate that I that I often got carsick-blah. I knew it would happen, but it was something that was important and we did it no matter what obstacles stood in the way.

He was actually known to have prayed for dead people, because if you asked him to pray for someone or something, he would pray until you told him the answer to prayer. If you never updated him…that name remained on the list…especially, if he knew your situation personally. Only occasionally would we cross a name off, and that was after we’d prayed for so many years we had no clue what was happening.

I once heard a preacher say that they committed to praying for a missionary everyday, and less than a year later they repented to God because they couldn’t keep that promise. I thought it was the most shameful thing I could hear a person say, especially a pastor. Prayer for others is important whether you think it is or not. You may not see the results of your prayer, but they sure feel them or the lack of them. And you don’t know how you’re prayers will affect others until you get to heaven…so pray.

Serve God no matter your talents: 

He encouraged others to serve God even when they didn’t think they could or had the necessary talent to minister. He encouraged families to sing specials- even though some couldn’t sing too well, he told them “you’re singing for God, not us”. He encouraged men-young and old alike to preach. They didn’t need to be called to preach, but they could still preach a sermon of some kind! 

And he then opened opportunities for them to preach, whether in a small bible study gathering or at the nursing home he ran…and sometimes it was even in church.

Funny thing is…time and time again I saw these people would get up and sing and preach messages…people who wouldn’t have done it otherwise. It taught me that you should encourage others…don’t look at the talents they may not have, but encourage them that they can be used of God no matter how big or small the talents they may have.

The other thing it taught me was how one person could make a difference. You never know the difference you make in someone’s life. One of those men he encouraged to preach actually stood and his funeral and gave testimony, “Pat Gresens encouraged me to preach and now I’m going to be a missionary.” His family is still serving on the missions field today.

Be involved in your children’s life: 

He encouraged men to be leaders and fathers in their home. He not only encouraged it but he did it! One of his greatest set backs was that he never had a father growing up, but he often told us that when he accepted Christ as his Savior, he was glad. He could now have the best father ever and he could learn from the best father.

When we got sick and it was a church day, unless he had a ministry he had to lead, he’d often stay home with us so my mom could go to church. With four children, the sickness usually lasted two weeks so instead of my mom missing church the whole time, he’d stay home certain day…personally, I think it’s because he wanted to spend time with us…even though we were sick and miserable! I’ve never seen a father do that…except one, and he did it because he saw my dad so it and thought it was a good idea. His wife was grateful.

He taught his children at every chance he got. Not only did we do family prayer and bible time, but we also had a separate family devotional time. Sometimes people came over to do bible studies and my dad would have us kids sitting through it. Or he’d sit the family down around the table and say, this week we’re going over the book of Acts…a bible institute course. I can’t tell you how many times he went over his bible institute courses with us! He had kept probably every note and course he took and I’m sure he had us go through most of them!

The earliest I remember this was when I was 6 or 7 years old. I remember thinking- “Aren’t I too young to understand this?” I think he loved the Lord so much, that he just had to share him with everyone he knew, and he wanted his children to learn and know the scriptures so we could have a firm foundation he didn’t have as a child.

I don’t know how much I’ve retained, but I know it’s in there somewhere! About a year before he died he started taking books from his vast library and assigning them to us kids to read…I will be honest, Dr. Ruckman’s history of the new testament church-I think that’s the name, it had two volumes- I didn’t read it. I said I did, but I didn’t. The print on those books was so small, that even with perfect eye sight you’d need a magnifying glass; and the books were super thick!

And then the words…..I have enough difficulty reading books like that as it is….the words jumbled until all I could see was a black mess on the page. I gave up. I kept the book and tried to read parts of it, but eventually, after I thought enough time had passed, returned it. E.M. Bounds books on prayer…were much easier to read! (They were also, as you can imagine, one of his favorite books to read.)

We were homeschooled from the time I was in 5^th grade…once again many men leave this task wholly up to their wives, but when the decision was made to homeschool us my dad told my mom, “I’m teaching them history.” History was his second love after Jesus. He taught our history class from the first year we started homeschooling up to the very week he died.

Be a giver: 

Even if you don’t have anything to give: It. Did. Not. Matter….what our financial situation was, if my dad saw a need he tried to fill it. And God always provided his needs in return…somehow, we made it through.

Over the years he gave not only his time, talents, preaching and testimony, but also food to those who had none, car rides for those who couldn’t make it, bibles to those who needed a new one or wanted a new upgraded one, money to missions-this was the most important- no matter how little we had in the bank account, I know he gave without holding back. And you know what’s interesting? He often gave, but did it in a way where the person never knew it was from him. He wanted them to thank God for the gift and blessing.

Don't just say you love someone-show it: 

He was always available for a hug and every night before bed it was important that after we prayed and read a portion of scripture we make the rounds to hug everyone. The last memory I have of my dad, besides looking in and seeing him sleeping, the night before he died was him giving me a hug before he went to bed. I miss those hugs and embraces.

One person makes a difference: 

I know I mentioned this already, but it was important to him that he make a difference in the world. In fact, it was the title of the Sunday school lessons he was teaching around the time he died.

Everything he did was towards the goal of turning the world around him upside down and making the biggest difference he could. He would say, “I want the Gresens’ generations down the the 4^th and 5^th generation to still be serving God.” It was what drove him to be the man God wanted him to be.

What’s the main thing I’ve learned from my dad? 

You may have guessed it already, he strived daily to use his life to turn people to Christ. To encourage others to live their life and open their lives up to what God could do.

He shared his love of God on a daily basis. He didn’t just talk about Jesus he walked with him daily and he was serious about his relationship with his heavenly father. One of the things that spoke the loudest to this fact was this: After he passed away the place where he worked sent home his belongings. There was only one belonging important enough to keep a work, he had many at home, but one specifically so it would always be there to read on his lunch break: his bible.

As a father (or anyone who isn’t a father) you may read this and think: “That’s impossible! No one could be like that!” Perhaps you’re right…but my dad was. He was one of those people who when he got saved, even though he couldn’t swim, jumped right into the deep end and kept on swimming until he was home. I know very few men who love Jesus like he did and even fewer who prayed as he did. I just hope the prayers he said for his children are still out there somewhere and that God is still working on them.

Was he perfect? No. Did he make mistakes? Yes. But don’t we all? Did he cruise through life with this awe-inspiring spirituality? No, he had many disappointments, trials and heartbreaks, but he knew that when you serve God you aren’t committing to a life of ease, you are committing to a God who has promised to carry your burdens and bring you home in his time. Who has promised to be with you each step of the way.

Sure, he had doubts just like all of us have had at one time or another, and asked: “Am I doing the right thing?” But one thing he never doubted and remained strong in his resolve until the very morning God took him home, “I will serve where God places me until he moves me somewhere else!”

And perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all.

Happy Father's Day

Like Song of Deliverance

Sometime last year the Lord showed me that I needed to move forward in two areas of my life that has just been stagnate for a while.  And while I have devoted some time to these areas, there hasn't been a great deal of progress.  You would think it would be easy.  God tells you what to do and you do it.  Right?  No.  I struggled so hard with what to do.  I knew the direction God wanted me to start heading towards, but certain things just didn't make any sense to me!  So I struggled and pulled away from what I knew God wanted me to be doing and clung to what I thought would be the best and only thing I should be going.  Let's face it, I could work on whatever God wanted me to work on and still cling to what I felt safe and comfortable with....right?

Well, I ended up being just plain miserable.  And doing what I felt safe and comfortable with became just the opposite.  I would go about my work and feel like I didn't belong there and get a super strong feeling that I couldn't stand being there any longer!  Allow me to clarify what I mean by doing what I was comfortable with and made me feel safe.  

As you know I worked at a christian camp and retreat center called His Thousand Hills.  My mom had gotten a job through a program that assists people 55 and older in finding employment, and they placed her at HTH.  The camp always can use extra hands so my mom suggested that I could come and help out.  I took her suggestion and started volunteering there in June of 2009.  I just kept coming back and by the end of that year they offered for my mom and me to come on as staff.  We still had to raise support as the camp is funded based on donations, but we decided to pray and seek God's will.  He told us that HTH was where we were meant to be.

So HTH became my home away from home.  A place where God healed some of the hurts and pains in my life.  Where each summer He allowed me to learn something new and pushed me a little more out of my comfort zone. And then that one year happened where He blessed me with two of the bestest friends a girl could ask for.  Friends who pray, cry, laugh and have talked with me about things I never thought I'd ever share with anyone.  The list could go on and on with what God gave to me by allowing the opportunity to minister there.  Yes, there were still up and down times, but He always shined through and gave me the strength I needed to do what He had for me to do at HTH.

Perhaps you can see why it made no sense to me that when God clearly showed me, "I don't want you there anymore."

My shocked response was: "Really?!?! Are you sure?  You can't possibly mean that I have to leave and go to....go to what?"

I kept thinking, "This must be my flesh, the devil, a spiritual attack or something else!"

I stayed and felt conflicted for months.  Finally, it overwhelmed me.  I turned to the Lord and asked Him to show me what to do.  He said told me to "be still and seek me".  So I took a day where I let go of all my expectations, desires and even my goals and dreams and sought and asked God to show me what HIS will was.

It was still difficult to let go of the camp.  In fact, even though deep inside I knew that the Lord wanted me to leave, I still would ask Him to "show me what You want me to do".  I'm so glad He's patient and didn't strike me with a bolt of lightning!

I sought God on a Wednesday and that Saturday I still went to camp asking Him to clearly (yes, it's okay to laugh and shake your head in disbelief ) I mean REALLY clearly show me!   The response that was whispered to my heart was, "I've already showed you...you just need to do it."

That night the door opened to let me intentions of leaving be known to the camp leaders.  It was amazing how God just opened the door, where I had no choice but to spill the beans! ;)

What was it that God wanted me to move forward in?  He has always given me songs to sing in my time of need...so the first thing was to really focus on sharing those songs with others.  The second was to working on writing.  I've always loved to write stories and articles...and God has given me so many ideas that I just need to get them written!

  

It hasn't been the smoothest since I made the decision and followed through on it.  A week and a half after I told the camp I was leaving I lost my singing voice for over a month!  It was difficult to talk, but singing was impossible!  I feel into despair thinking, "How am I supposed to get these songs out there if I can't even sing them!"  I actually began to believe that I would never sing again.  My health took a HUGE step back-I'm still trying to get some strength back from that.  And a few other areas in my life seemed to fall out from under me.  I mentioned that my voice left for over a month...well, all of this kept happening over those same weeks.  And I had thought things were rough when I kept insisting that I had to stay at the camp!

It wasn't until I was texting a friend that I realized and recognized that what was happening was a spiritual attack.  It wasn't until I left HTH that the enemy insisted on breaking my spirit..and he still does...after all the devil knows just the buttons to push that allow us to falter and fall.  After that our flesh takes over and the doubts start to come and cloud our mind and heart.  I'm grateful for my family and friends who prayed me through those rough weeks! 

It's funny how once you realize what is really happening, the spiritual attack, it lets up.  My friend started praying, my mom started praying and I knew others may not have known, but they were praying too.  I'm thankful that I no have my singing voice back.  My health always has it's ups and downs, but in the down moments I just have to focus on what I can do and let everything else go so as not to get stressed about it! :)

It's important to realize that when God wants us to do something for Him, the devil won't like it.  But our God is bigger and mightier than he is...which means we've already got the victory!

Please like, and share, the facebook Song of Deliverance page to get updates on new music and writings.  You can also subscribe by email to get notices of new blogs posts!

2012 Prayer Letter

It's been a while since our last prayer letter, so Mom and I decided we should get another one out to everyone.  Actually, this was written in July/August so I'm a little late in getting it up online! :-)

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Greetings in the name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

Another summer is upon us at His Thousand Hills Christian Camp and Retreat Center.  My daughter, Rebekah, and I are plunged into our service for the Lord during our busiest time of the year.  If this is your first letter from us, briefly Rebekah and I are faith-based missionaries serving the Lord at HTH, a non-profit organization wholly supported by donations.  In 2002, I lost my husband by a major heart attack, and during the last ten years my family has learned a lot about trusting the Lord for our provision.  When our survivor’s benefits dwindled, I applied for many jobs in my area, but the Lord closed the doors on all but the opportunity at HTH.  So we raise support as missionaries do.

We have just completed our busy month of June in which we hosted our own two weeks of HTH summer camp.  Our theme verse was Galatians 2:20, I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.  It was presented in such a way as to demonstrate to teens and juniors the importance of a new life in Christ - and what fruit we had!  Several children received Christ or renewed their relationship with Him, deciding to make changes in their lives.  We are now looking forward to hosting several outside groups who will be having week-long camps and retreats through July and August.  So the fun and blessings have only just begun.  Rebekah and I are always blessed to be a part of these events.

Notes from Jane - There is no end to office work when a camp is in session.  I take care of registration paperwork, and am the hub of communication for campers, outside calls, getting messages to camp staff or campers, and occasionally helping a home-sick camper to call home.  Balancing all that with my regular daily accounting and paperwork is always a challenge, but a joy.  I’ve said it before – office work is my niche, and if I can do it for the Lord, how much better!

Notes from Rebekah - Summer is our busiest time at HTH.  There is usually a new group every week looking to enjoy the beautiful hills and services that we provide them.  It can be very hot (especially in the kitchen), tiring and at times downright exhausting!  But the one thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that every year God works in the lives of those who come to camp.  A few years ago, I heard a story of a girl where the church people had been trying to get her to come to church and accept Christ.  She kept refusing.  However, she didn’t mind coming to camp.  During one of the evening services she couldn’t contain herself any longer.  She began to cry and came up to the altar, accepted Christ and committed her life to Him.  Hearing the stories of children and adults getting saved or committing their lives to Christ is such an encouragement and makes all the hot and exhausting days so worth it! 

 

Michael - Since last October, my son Michael has been stationed in Ramstein Germany for his duty station in the U.S. Air Force.  Recently he sent me a message that he has been deployed to Kosovo for a peace-keeping assignment by NATO.  He will not be able to come home on leave this year, and we miss him, but we are able to keep regular communications with him online or using Skype.

I want to express sincere thanks to all of you who have faithfully supported us with prayers and finances.  I can honestly say that I don’t know how my family would have made it without them!  Since last year’s letter, our car became disabled beyond repair, and because of some generous givers, we now have two cars – one for Rebekah and I to commute to camp and back, and the other for my son Daniel’s commute to his job.  Following are some dire needs that I would like you to pray about for us:

·         I have a major black mold/mildew problem in my basement – I had an estimate by a specialist in this area, and was told it was very serious, and is dangerous to the health of my family members.  His discounted offer to gut the basement and repair the situation was $5,040.00.  If anyone can help me remedy this situation, please contact me – but please pray that God would provide for the need!

·         I have back property taxes - $656.00 due by September 28 – yes, I’m still trying to get that caught up.

·         I need new glasses - $100-$200 for frames and lenses (although my eye exam is covered by insurance).

·         A large filling fell out of one of my back molars – I have no dental insurance.

·         I owe a chimney repairman $600 because he took care of a major creosote leakage in my woodstove chimney - ready for next winter.

May God specially bless you all!

Sincerely in Christ,

Jane Gresens

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  God is always faithful to provide and has been blessing us and meeting our needs.  We so appreciate your prayers as we serve the Lord in our ministry!