Living life God's way

There was a company that once said, "Have it your way..." I believe it was Mcdonalds, but it's the same advertisement many fast food restaurants boast of.

We've gotten so used to having things our way that when God tries to speak to us we at times say, "No, but I want to do it this way!"

You want to know what's funny about a statement like that? It's the same statement children give to their parent or caretaker.

But you want to know what's even funnier? Usually when a child is whining about why they have to do something a certain way, it's because we know something they don't. We also are more than likely trying to get them something they want or will love.

It's the same way with God in our life. He wants to give us so many good things, but often we just want it our way as they way God shows us is fraught with too much work, trials or struggles we don't care to meet.

But God is looking to work on our behalf, not give us something we don't want.

Is living life God's way not worth the trouble?

There are some who would say that it's boring living life God's way. There are too many do's and don'ts. It's too hard. This list could go on.

It's true, living for God isn't always easy, but it is a choice that has to be made on a daily-sometime minute by minute basis. That means sometimes you have to be uncomfortable in order to do what you know is right. It means you may meet opposition.

Is it still worth it?

Allow me to put it this way: God sent his son to die for us. Why? Because of our sin. And yet, despite our failings and sin he is still a loving father who sees and knows what and who we are. Yet he goes out of his way to give us good things that we don't deserve. And that's just in this lifetime.

The bible says that we can't comprehend what he has in store for us in heaven! An eternal life with our Lord.

Is it going to be worth it? You tell me.

It's between me and God

I lived my life to make others happy. I made my standards in my life to live up to what others thought was right. And some even thought it was right according to God's word. But that didn't and doesn't always make it right for me.

My life is between me and God. And as long as he is leading and guiding me and I'm walking with him then I need to be confident in my choices. God will tell me if it's not right. Why? Because I ask him!

This doesn't mean that I don't listen to sound advice, but it also means that I don't always have to follow it if I don't believe it's right.

When I worked at the camp I always had people tell me their words of wisdom and what they thought would help me. I even had one person get pretty miffed at my not following what they thought was the right way to do a dish I was serving. They were so miffed they walked out and didn't come back. But the food was my responsibility. If I ran short or it didn't turn out they wouldn't have to worry about repercussion...I would!

It's the same with our lives. We will give account to God and him alone for the actions and decisions we make in our life. With that in mind we shouldn't be so quick to judge others for their choices and decisions. If they want your opinion they'll ask!

If you have a concern it's okay to inquire about it, but don't come with the attitude that they have to see things your way. After all, even God give men a freewill.

Just some thoughts going through my mind....what do you think? Have you come upon those annoying and aggravating people who attack you at the slightest thing you do against their opinion? How do you handle it?

Father's Day

I’m going to be honest, father’s day has become one of the most difficult days for me. It’s the day I wish I could not emerge into the land of the living and just pull the covers over my head and sleep right through it. Unfortunately, Father’s day falls on a Sunday, so unless I’m ill…that’s not an option. I get out of bed and go to church anyways…still hoping I can avoid the Father’s day spirit in the building.

I then head home and try to forget that it’s the special day most of the country is giving attention to their father’s. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. I try to scold myself and say: “You can remember daddy. And if that’s too hard you have a heavenly father who will never leave you and focus on that!”

But saying that and feeling it is very difficult. But this year, I’ve decided that even if I spend the next 20 years not looking forward to father’s day I will face my fear and follow the advice I try to give myself every year.

Since my dad has died, it seems like each passing year becomes more and more difficult. As life sends its many challenges I miss having him be there for me and my siblings. I often feel that if he was alive I may not have had to face some of the challenges that have entered my life. But one day, a few years ago, I came across one of his famous 3x5 cards. On it was a verse he had written: 2 Timothy 3: 14-15- “But continue thou in the things which thou hast learned and hast been assured of, knowing of whom thou hast learned them; and that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”

When I read the words, tears came into my eyes. It was as if my dad was speaking to me, telling me that he had taught me everything he could have and from that foundation I could continue my life for Christ. I still wish he was here, but I must comfort myself, sometimes on a daily basis, that God knows best even my heart cries out in agony.

It seems like each year I call to remembrance more and more memories and things my dad taught his family. Here are a few I was thinking of the other day:

Prayer is important: 

He was a serious, ultra, hardcore prayer warrior- and I’m not over exaggerating  when I say that. He had a family prayer list that took us almost an hour on some days to get through, generally it was at least a minimum of 30-45 minutes. I only knew that because our family prayer and bible reading took at least an hour to an hour and a half.

Besides family prayers, I know he prayed personally. He was also at every prayer meeting he could be at- even the special ones, he made sure he was there-oh, and he took the whole family with him, unless it was a men’s only event!

At one church, on Sunday morning while the pastor preached, he would go into the little room just off the sanctuary and pray during the service. The pastor asked him why he was doing it. My dad replied, “I know that during the service is the time God speaks to people. There are spiritual battles going on and I want you lift up in prayer while you’re up there preaching God’s word.” Slowly but surely more men joined in and at the request of the pastor, my dad created a schedule so he could still attend the morning service himself….otherwise he would have been in that little room tearing the paint off with his prayers every week. The pastor convinced him by telling him he should at least sit with his family every now and then!

Prayer was the one thing I knew was so important to him that no matter how sick we were, no matter how busy or even if we were out of town on a family vacation or a mission trip- we prayed. Sometimes because we were so busy we brought the list along and prayed in the car! I hated that because after we prayed we’d read the bible and since we took turns reading out loud I had to keep track of where we were and then take me turn. What made me hate that I that I often got carsick-blah. I knew it would happen, but it was something that was important and we did it no matter what obstacles stood in the way.

He was actually known to have prayed for dead people, because if you asked him to pray for someone or something, he would pray until you told him the answer to prayer. If you never updated him…that name remained on the list…especially, if he knew your situation personally. Only occasionally would we cross a name off, and that was after we’d prayed for so many years we had no clue what was happening.

I once heard a preacher say that they committed to praying for a missionary everyday, and less than a year later they repented to God because they couldn’t keep that promise. I thought it was the most shameful thing I could hear a person say, especially a pastor. Prayer for others is important whether you think it is or not. You may not see the results of your prayer, but they sure feel them or the lack of them. And you don’t know how you’re prayers will affect others until you get to heaven…so pray.

Serve God no matter your talents: 

He encouraged others to serve God even when they didn’t think they could or had the necessary talent to minister. He encouraged families to sing specials- even though some couldn’t sing too well, he told them “you’re singing for God, not us”. He encouraged men-young and old alike to preach. They didn’t need to be called to preach, but they could still preach a sermon of some kind! 

And he then opened opportunities for them to preach, whether in a small bible study gathering or at the nursing home he ran…and sometimes it was even in church.

Funny thing is…time and time again I saw these people would get up and sing and preach messages…people who wouldn’t have done it otherwise. It taught me that you should encourage others…don’t look at the talents they may not have, but encourage them that they can be used of God no matter how big or small the talents they may have.

The other thing it taught me was how one person could make a difference. You never know the difference you make in someone’s life. One of those men he encouraged to preach actually stood and his funeral and gave testimony, “Pat Gresens encouraged me to preach and now I’m going to be a missionary.” His family is still serving on the missions field today.

Be involved in your children’s life: 

He encouraged men to be leaders and fathers in their home. He not only encouraged it but he did it! One of his greatest set backs was that he never had a father growing up, but he often told us that when he accepted Christ as his Savior, he was glad. He could now have the best father ever and he could learn from the best father.

When we got sick and it was a church day, unless he had a ministry he had to lead, he’d often stay home with us so my mom could go to church. With four children, the sickness usually lasted two weeks so instead of my mom missing church the whole time, he’d stay home certain day…personally, I think it’s because he wanted to spend time with us…even though we were sick and miserable! I’ve never seen a father do that…except one, and he did it because he saw my dad so it and thought it was a good idea. His wife was grateful.

He taught his children at every chance he got. Not only did we do family prayer and bible time, but we also had a separate family devotional time. Sometimes people came over to do bible studies and my dad would have us kids sitting through it. Or he’d sit the family down around the table and say, this week we’re going over the book of Acts…a bible institute course. I can’t tell you how many times he went over his bible institute courses with us! He had kept probably every note and course he took and I’m sure he had us go through most of them!

The earliest I remember this was when I was 6 or 7 years old. I remember thinking- “Aren’t I too young to understand this?” I think he loved the Lord so much, that he just had to share him with everyone he knew, and he wanted his children to learn and know the scriptures so we could have a firm foundation he didn’t have as a child.

I don’t know how much I’ve retained, but I know it’s in there somewhere! About a year before he died he started taking books from his vast library and assigning them to us kids to read…I will be honest, Dr. Ruckman’s history of the new testament church-I think that’s the name, it had two volumes- I didn’t read it. I said I did, but I didn’t. The print on those books was so small, that even with perfect eye sight you’d need a magnifying glass; and the books were super thick!

And then the words…..I have enough difficulty reading books like that as it is….the words jumbled until all I could see was a black mess on the page. I gave up. I kept the book and tried to read parts of it, but eventually, after I thought enough time had passed, returned it. E.M. Bounds books on prayer…were much easier to read! (They were also, as you can imagine, one of his favorite books to read.)

We were homeschooled from the time I was in 5^th grade…once again many men leave this task wholly up to their wives, but when the decision was made to homeschool us my dad told my mom, “I’m teaching them history.” History was his second love after Jesus. He taught our history class from the first year we started homeschooling up to the very week he died.

Be a giver: 

Even if you don’t have anything to give: It. Did. Not. Matter….what our financial situation was, if my dad saw a need he tried to fill it. And God always provided his needs in return…somehow, we made it through.

Over the years he gave not only his time, talents, preaching and testimony, but also food to those who had none, car rides for those who couldn’t make it, bibles to those who needed a new one or wanted a new upgraded one, money to missions-this was the most important- no matter how little we had in the bank account, I know he gave without holding back. And you know what’s interesting? He often gave, but did it in a way where the person never knew it was from him. He wanted them to thank God for the gift and blessing.

Don't just say you love someone-show it: 

He was always available for a hug and every night before bed it was important that after we prayed and read a portion of scripture we make the rounds to hug everyone. The last memory I have of my dad, besides looking in and seeing him sleeping, the night before he died was him giving me a hug before he went to bed. I miss those hugs and embraces.

One person makes a difference: 

I know I mentioned this already, but it was important to him that he make a difference in the world. In fact, it was the title of the Sunday school lessons he was teaching around the time he died.

Everything he did was towards the goal of turning the world around him upside down and making the biggest difference he could. He would say, “I want the Gresens’ generations down the the 4^th and 5^th generation to still be serving God.” It was what drove him to be the man God wanted him to be.

What’s the main thing I’ve learned from my dad? 

You may have guessed it already, he strived daily to use his life to turn people to Christ. To encourage others to live their life and open their lives up to what God could do.

He shared his love of God on a daily basis. He didn’t just talk about Jesus he walked with him daily and he was serious about his relationship with his heavenly father. One of the things that spoke the loudest to this fact was this: After he passed away the place where he worked sent home his belongings. There was only one belonging important enough to keep a work, he had many at home, but one specifically so it would always be there to read on his lunch break: his bible.

As a father (or anyone who isn’t a father) you may read this and think: “That’s impossible! No one could be like that!” Perhaps you’re right…but my dad was. He was one of those people who when he got saved, even though he couldn’t swim, jumped right into the deep end and kept on swimming until he was home. I know very few men who love Jesus like he did and even fewer who prayed as he did. I just hope the prayers he said for his children are still out there somewhere and that God is still working on them.

Was he perfect? No. Did he make mistakes? Yes. But don’t we all? Did he cruise through life with this awe-inspiring spirituality? No, he had many disappointments, trials and heartbreaks, but he knew that when you serve God you aren’t committing to a life of ease, you are committing to a God who has promised to carry your burdens and bring you home in his time. Who has promised to be with you each step of the way.

Sure, he had doubts just like all of us have had at one time or another, and asked: “Am I doing the right thing?” But one thing he never doubted and remained strong in his resolve until the very morning God took him home, “I will serve where God places me until he moves me somewhere else!”

And perhaps that is the greatest lesson of all.

Happy Father's Day

Rejoice And Again I Say Rejoice

There are many variables in life that make us wonder: does God know what he's doing? Does he actually have a plan? Or are we just moseying along hoping for the best?

There is a song, I'm sure many of you have heard of it, entitled: "Rejoice In The Lord" By: Ron and Shelly Hamilton. (If you haven't heard the song my mom, sister and I sing it on our CD.)

The words to the song are this:

God never moves without purpose or plan
When trying His servant and molding a man.
Give thanks to the LORD though your testing seems long;
In darkness He giveth a song.

I could not see through the shadows ahead;
So I looked at the cross of my Savior instead.
I bowed to the will of the Master that day;
Then peace came and tears fled away.

Now I can see testing comes from above;
God strengthens His children and purges in love.
My Father knows best, and I trust in His care;
Through purging more fruit I will bear.

O Rejoice in the LORD
He makes no mistake,
He knoweth the end of each path that I take,
For when I am tried
And purified,
I shall come forth as gold.

I often find myself challenged with believing that God is working in my life, especially when a challenge I am facing gets me down so far that I can't see any hope. Lately, my health has been acting up and giving me trouble.

I have dreams and goals that I want to do, but am hindered by these physical challenges. I talk to the Lord about them and I speak scriptures and healing into my body, but often I wonder: where is all this leading? 

Philippians 4:4- "Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."

We'd sing that verse in Sunday school as a child, often those Sunday schools songs come back to me and I realize that they are much more important for us "adults" to sing than for children. Why? Because as adults we often forget the simple aspects related to our walk with the Lord.

It can be hard to rejoice when struggles come and all you can see is the struggle, but we can find hope in the knowledge that God is working- even when we can't see him working on our behalf!

God knows how our life will play out and we can trust in that. He will always bring us through the trial- we must just have the faith to believe and rejoice in the victory that will come!

A Follower

Follow me on:

Twitter

Facebook

Google+

Blogger

Wordpress

YouTube

Today we are inundated with so many requests to follow people. I have to admit that at times I have difficulty saying "No" to everything as some 'follow me' pleas catch my attention.

But are we so caught up in following people that we have forgotten the most important 'follow me' plea?

Seventeen times Jesus used the phrase "Follow Me". His command was given to those who eventually became his disciples, given to the rich man who wanted to know what more he should do to enter heaven, given to us:

"Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me."
Mark 8:34b

With the technology of today the temptation to get caught up in our daily social world on the web sometimes takes time away from the One we should be following. 

If we truly desire God to work in our life we must be a follower of him- just as we check our phones or computers every time it blings that there is a new notification- we should be just as hooked on Jesus.

This brings up another thought...do you have followers on your social media accounts? What do they see in you? Do they see that you are a follower of Christ? 

Or do you constantly complain about your life and circumstances? (I  understand the need to ask a prayer request or seek some support- I'm talking about those who every day must share everything that goes wrong....may I say, "Blah")

Do you post and share Godly pictures or are you sharing things that aren't Christlike? Or are you choosing to uplift your followers with good thoughts, words and pictures?

We are all followers of someone, just as in this day and age, we all have followers. We must always endeavor to use wisdom in whom we chose to follow and not lose sight of the most important One we should be following: our Saviour- Jesus.

Speaking of following....did you know you can follow me on twitter, Facebook, YouTube and of course this blog?

Follow Me: 

Twitter- @rebgres

Facebook- A Song of Deliverance

YouTube Channel- A Song of Deliverance

This blog- You can subscribe through the email link to receive updates whenever a new post goes up!

Whose fault is it?

I suffer with pain or health issues on a daily basis. It gets very difficult to watch others live life while I feel confined to my sickbed. It often leaves me feeling very down and it's a minute by minute fight to keep my head above water and try and stay positive!

I've prayed for healing, eat right, tried all sorts of health regimens and continued to pray for more and more healing. But while I may have an occasional relief, it never lasts long and I'm back to the sickbed.

Ugh....I hate my bed, the couch and every other thing that holds me back. Sometimes I can remain strong through the weak health moments...or more accurately days or sometimes the weeks they last, but many more times I tend to wonder: When will it end? 

I beg God to take me home so I no longer suffer; but while I don't want to live anymore I also don't want to die. Why? Isn't my future secure in Christ? Why then do I fear death? 

It's quite simple and maybe even a little silly: I don't want to miss anything! Funny- even when I was a little girl I remember my dad and mom talking about how hard it was to pull me away from a tv show or movie we were watching to do some small task or help my mom with dinner. 

It was simple... just that I HAD to see what was going to happen next! Not much has changed...sometimes I get a book or movie just because the little teaser I'll read makes me want to know what will happen. I've been given the reputation for picking boring features, but, hey....at least I know how the story ended!

It's the same reason why dying scares me. There have been a few deaths around me lately and the one thing that saddens me the most about death is that everyone else lives on. They continue to laugh, cry and live life. But the person that has died will no longer see the accomplishments their loved ones make. They will no longer hold the people they love in a tender embrace.No longer have another chance to do that one thing the never got around to doing.

They've gone on. Yes, to a better place, but the chances they had in life are no more. All the suffering they went through, no longer makes a difference to them. Their favorite foods....why should they care about food anymore? Their hopes and dreams...all gone. Never to be fulfilled, completed or enjoyed.

But heaven is so wonderful...why would those things make any difference? Shouldn't you desire to be with Jesus so much that life down here no longer matters?

Perhaps what hits me the most, of all my fears and questions, is that when you die you no longer have a chance to do anything more for Christ. What you've done is all you will ever do. Will it make a difference? When you stand before God and his judgement will all you did be enough?

I know, no matter what I do it will never be enough. I am so weak and small...sickly beyond ridiculous! I so desire to do more for Christ, but yet I so often feel stuck.

I then start to think back to when it all happened. What was the turning point for my health? When was the moment that I found myself so befuddled by my own circumstances that my daily life became a constant fight from morning through the whole night to keep my sanity while enduring the discomfort and pain.

I asked this question of my sister as she listened for perhaps the thousandth time to my wailing's. Why? Why do I suffer so? Why is it so hard for me to keep joy in my life? Why do I feel like my prayers aret just words I'm saying and not me and Jesus communing together. I have a life to live, so when and whose fault is it that I'm this way? Have I ruined my life somehow?

She then said something profound. It was so profound I didn't know how to respond. She told me how she was talking with our youngest brother about things in her life and how she was wondering why and who was to blame for it. 

He responded with the story of the blind man in John 9:1-3.

"And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth. 

And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?"

Who's to blame for this man being blind? Obviously, someone did something wrong here....

I love Jesus' response. I imagine that he looked up in shock at the question and then gently shook his head as he looked at the man he was about to heal.

 "Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him."

Jesus answer basically said, "No one is to blame. There is no one at fault. This happened so God could be glorified."

As my sister shared what our brother had told her I was left breathless in awe of the wisdom that was shared.

I wanted to blame someone, something, myself even for everything that was happening in my life. True circumstances in life lead you to difficulties at times; and you can find and know the root cause if it. But sometimes there is nothing and no one to blame or be at fault. It just happens and is apart of the journey you are on.

However, what happens next is up to you. You can choose to use it for God's glory or drown yourself in the wallowing pit of despair, grief and depression.

I admit, it's not easy pulling yourself up each day to face a life you didn't ever think you'd have to live, but isn't that why God is there for us? To help us carry those burdens? Isn't that why he gives praying friends and family? To support you in prayer and give you an understanding shoulder to cry on and then help you move forward?

I don't know how some of the people I look up to, who also suffer with health afflictions, do it. They always have joy, peace and are so in love with Jesus! Perhaps it's because they are older and have been through much more of the physical challenges and now they've reached a point where their faith has grown enough for them to be at peace and just rest in the grace God has given them.

I still struggle on a daily basis, and for that I ask that you pray for me. Just because you may think I look okay and may be feeling fine doesn't mean I'm not having a rough day. I learned years ago-even before my dad died- how to smile even while in some pretty nasty pain. I suppose I always figure that if I can hide it then people won't know how broken I am! ;)

But truth be told, I am broken right now, and I'm always trying to move forward and out of it! Everyday I seek God's grace as I step into a day where I never know how it will end: in unbearable pain, pain I'm trying to to stave off from getting worse or the comfort of a good day-usually it's not the last one....yet- still working on that! 

Sometimes that little understanding from others can go a long way to helping me feel encouraged enough to make in through the next hour. It's exhausting to always feel like I'm fighting all time. Never knowing if what I'm eating will cause me to feel sicker, fighting to keep my head in the game and not give up, not knowing if when I go to sleep I'll wake in the middle of the night in pain and discomfort and be miserable...so much uncertainty and most of it leading to a less than desirable outcome.

But I keep believing that God has a purpose and will use me in His timing to accomplish that purpose. I still believe that he is working on my body and making me whole again. I believe that He is going to bring about a better ending to my story than the last few chapters have led me to believe. I only hope I can do everything he has for me to do! And of course I keep reminding myself:

God's Got This!

Being Vulnerable

Being vulnerable is something that's not easy for everyone. For me, I'm a private person and my vulnerabilities are weakness that I don't want to share. I want people to see me as this person who has it all together and doesn't make stupid mistakes.

But the truth is....there are times I feel like I'm barely making it. Holding it together- it's a front and a fascade just for the benefit of those around me. Often inside I was crying out for help, but for some reason, felt that if I shared my need for help it would ruin my credibility.

What. A. Lie. True, some people could use a more restrain in holding back their problems, mistakes and feelings. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. The people who talk about it so much that it's all you hear from them. And you eventually get to a point where you ignore and try to stay out of their way because- God forbid you start a conversation as you'll be stuck the next 45 minutes listening to: "blah, blah, blah....and then I just couldn't take it anymore! (cue the crying). Blah, sniff, sniff, blah."

Thankfully, most people I've met aren't like this. But why do we feel like that's what we're doing when we're being true about ourselves? Why is it that instead of being vulnerable we feel like we need to present this fake person who is on top of everything?

I know that from my upbringing, there was a time where I felt like if I was true to who I was- I wasn't a good person and probably backslidden. Or I'd get reprimanded or chewed out and it was inapropiate to stand for what I thought because then I was being disrespectful.

There is a fine line between disrespect and standing for what you believe it right and true. Being a hypocrite isn't the answer. And that's what I felt like I was. And I hate hypcrites. I'd rather a person be honest about themselves than live a lie. Or work to better themselves than hurt those around them.

Being a writer has been difficult at times as I've had to use my personal, deepest and most inner struggles, thoughts and who I am and bring it out for the world to see. But I've always appreciated when someone I looked up to spoke about something they went through and became vulnerable.

It made me feel like I wasn't alone. Someone had been through what I'd been through or was going through and if they could do it- and still be awesome- so could I!

It still isn't easy. I still wonder...what are people thinking? They must think I'm pathetic! But then I remember: what other's think of me doesn't matter. It doesn't define who I am, what I've done or what I will do.

Not everyone will be happy or like what I say, write or share. But that's okay. Obviously, they aren't who I'm called to reach in that moment. They may hate me...but really does that matter?

What's important is that I'm living my life doing what God has for me to do. If being vulnerable and being the real me is hard, then I have to trust that God will use that for a purpose greater than I can know and understand. Frankly, I'm okay with that because I believe that God's Got This and I trust in him!