Wednesday, June 19, 2013
This is the first summer in four years that I haven't been at His Thousand Hills for summer camp. I have to admit, I feel like something is missing from the start of my summer months! Although I haven't been at HTH, the Lord has kept me busy!
Last week, I was able to settle down and get some recording done AND I was able to make some massive progress on my book-even if it was at ten o'clock at night! (Literally, I was so tired I thought I'd fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. Instead, I ended up writing...next thing I knew the clock said 12:30 am. When God is moving I've learned to go with the flow, but my sleeping schedule has not quite balanced out yet.....)
Anyways, here is one of the songs that was completed entitled: Jesus Is With Thee.
Here is the behind the scenes look at how the Lord brought this song to life!
For this song we have to go back to February 16, 2008, as that is the day God used this song in my life. Sometimes when writing a new song I write some of the words and then the rest come during the next few days, weeks, month or even years. Other times a song just flows and is written in one day-this song is one that took only one day. In fact, I believe it was completed in just a few hours.
About a week before Jesus Is With Thee came into existence, something had happened that caused me to become very discouraged and want to give up completely on people in Christianity. I was so down and literally felt like I had no one to talk to or be there for me during this difficult situation. My mom and sister were in another state taking care of my grandmother, and there was even a family member who was in a disagreement with me about the situation going on at that time; both of which really added to the feeling of no one being there to talk to or stand by me.
Nothing during that time seemed to go right, I'm sure you can related to that feeling! So I did what I usually do when I'm feeling lost, I started playing the keyboard in my room. As I played words-and tears- began to flow as I poured my heart out to the Lord.
Lord, I’m feeling down again, it seems like I can never win
These words came from a place where I couldn't believe that once again I was facing a situation that was similar to what I'd faced many times before. It felt like I couldn't win. I'd stand up and get going only to be slapped down again. You'd think I would have learned and done something different, but you can't always control situations around you. It can be so frustrating!
I just feel so all alone
When we go through a situation where people we thought were our friends and where family seem to disappear and not be as supportive as we'd like them to be, it's easy to feel alone and like no one is standing by us. Even when you are calling out to God, it seems like He doesn't answer and has also disappeared on you.
Hence the reason why the questions were asked:
Where are You?
Can’t you hear me calling out Your name?
Lord, it seems like all I do is stumble and fall,
But You’re always there to lift up,
Why should I fear? When I know You’re always so near.
I'm so grateful that the Lord knows that in our flesh we are going to stumble and fall...in fact sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to stand upright again, but He never fails.
Just as you would stand over a small child learning to walk-so He stands over us. You see the child stumble and fall, they look at you with big crocodile tears welling up in their eyes. You don't even think, your arms stretch out reaching for the small one who needs the help to stand and then you desire to help that little one so much, that you hold them up as they take the tiniest of steps on their journey of learning to walk.
God does the same for us. He hurts when we hurt. He sees the tears and desires to wipe them away and show us that there is nothing to fear. He is standing besides us and we continue on our life's journey, holding us up, and never leaving our side.
While writing the chorus I remember that I lost it and couldn't contain the tears that flowed. It felt as if God was right in the room holding me and speaking His response to the crying out that was done during the verses.
My child, I am here, you have nothing to fear,
I never left you, but I carried you through,
So when feeling down,
Remember to look around and see,
That Jesus is with thee.
On a side note: When I was looking for pictures to add to the video, I found two pictures that had a rainbow in them. So when the chorus was sung I inserted those pictures as the first rainbow was given for a reminder to Noah. Whenever I see a rainbow, it reminds me that God is watching over me and that I can trust in His promises.
He’ll never leave you all alone,
He’ll always lead you right….right back home.
Just the reminder that God is leading in our lives-especially, if your desire is to have Him lead you.
Just keep walking with Jesus!